off to meet mr ramsay

someone dear sprang an absolute shocker today.

would you want to do your masters in europe? like london?

okay, let me take you back to the start of uni life before major events unfolded.

i was somehow always expecting to stay on in sydney/australia after graduating. no buts. that was to be the way.

why? easy. i hate the no-life life in singapore.
i honestly do.
and i don't want work to be my primary focus in life.
in singapore, it isn't impossible to achieve a balance but frankly, i've had enough.

what better opportunity than actually studying abroad and living there long-term?

anyways, gradually i started to see how hard it would be to even come close to getting a job. but i always thought "ah what the hell, i'll get it soon-ish".

that soon-ish never came. rejections came in various forms.
graduate programs. part-times. PR red-tape. work experience. degree choices.

damn. it was pure catch-22.
akin to having a hot naked girl in front of you and you can't even touch her.

then a saving grace arrived, in the form of masters. masters was NEVER on my agenda. till that fateful day at the career fair where i was rejected so many times, i swear i had to drag my ego back home like a limp dead dog.

"sorry, for international students...we only hire accounting students..."
"are you a PR? oh...i'm terribly sorry..."
"yeah we do sponsor international students...are you doing finance?"

companies i dreamed of working for essentially told me flat-out no. come on, who wouldn't want to work for Coke?! procter and gamble??!

then, i pondered the option of doing a master's degree. which would eventually qualify me for PR. which would eventually allow me to live here long-term.

all THAT...just for the legal right to work and live here. which made me think twice about actually staying here.

because frankly, if it really is that hard to even be eligible to work, to be given an opportunity, at the end of the day, you find yourself questioning the person in the mirror and asking.."is this what you really want?"

------------------------

there. so really. the avalanche of projects and assignments have sorta kept me safe from these whimsical thoughts. that is, till now.

master's in uk? (always wanted to go europe)
start all over? (not too sure about that)
family issues (yeah, that's a real tricky one)

i'm settled in sydney, i like the place. i like the culture. more importantly, i do see a future here. and i don't see that in singapore.

when i'm in sydney, i'm unrestricted and free (in every sense of the word).
this past dec-feb period in singapore brought great times with friends but frankly, i never quite felt at home like before.

that's when it hit me...sydney's my home now. not singapore.
sadly... i'm not sure how long that's gonna last.

yeah, should have just stayed in fuckin singapore. might have stayed immature, myopic, essentialist and unexposed...but hey, that would have saved a lot of trouble.