Remember those cockroach baits that promised to lure unsuspecting roaches in to feast on poison? Well, it appears that Mortein's R&D department are serious about dealing with them roaches.

These serious baits come with special honey, malt and soya attractant. Now, what sane roach could resist THAT? And just when you thought it couldn't get any better...

The good folks at Mortein have decided to educate us on the different kinds of cockroaches encountered in the never-ending battle. Imagine how useful that would be to us winning the war against them roaches.

Me (sees a cockroach): Now THAT'S an American cockroach. Yeah, slightly on the redder side...
Friend (shakes head): Now just hang on a minute. That's not reddish, that's LIGHT brown.
Me (whips out vernier calipers): Let's measure it then. Numbers NEVER lie.
Me (measures the roach): 16mm. Ha! It's a small American...
Friend: Firstly, vernier calipers?? Secondly...small American? Why not large German?
Me: ....err...It was eyeing my hamburger...the staple of Americans...